Friday 3 July 2015

Mad Reviews - Terminator 2: Judgment Day


Welcome back to Terminator week! I already did a review for T3 last September as part of my threequel month, and managed to look at The Terminator the other day. With that being said, it's time for me to look at a movie that is not only one of the best sequels ever made, not only one of the greatest action movies ever made, but just flat out one of the greatest films of all time: Terminator 2: Judgment Day.

This movie owns at life, period.

I don't even know where to begin when it comes to talking about this movie's awesomeness! Everything about this film is fucking awesome! Awesome story, awesome visuals, awesome action, awesome characters, awesome acting, awesome directing, awesome music, awesome fucking everything! Many people reading this will just think I'm some fanboy who sucks this movie's dick on a daily basis... While you're right, please bear with me as I dive into this film. I'm going to give T2 an in-depth analysis, and carefully explain why this movie is better than you.

So it starts off showing a random day in Los Angeles, the LA Freeways are packed, and some kids are having fun on a playground. All of a sudden, FLASH! Everything is destroyed and everyone becomes a skeleton. We then hear some awesome narration by Sarah Connor: "3 billion human lives ended on August 29th, 1997. The survivors of the nuclear fire called the war 'Judgment Day.' They lived only to face a new nightmare: The war against the machines." BAM! Terminator foot crushes a skull, and we as the audience are brought right smack in the middle of this war. Terminators and HK's are fucking shit up everywhere, human soldiers are blowing shit up, and then we cut to a tracking shot of John Connor walking out of a bunker. As the camera zooms in on Connor's face, we hear narration from his mother, stating events of the first Terminator, and explaining that another one was on the way to kill him when he was still a child. Cue the title and theme song.

That sequence was fucking cool. It gives you everything you need as an audience member to move forward with the story. It gives you the premise, the setting, the people, and some nice action on top of it to bring it all home. This movie doesn't waste any time in letting you know that the next 2 and a half hours are going to blow your fucking mind! Seriously, when that Terminator foot steps on that skull, you know you're in for something special.

While I'm still on the subject of this sequence, I would like to mention that John Connor in this time is my favourite representation of the character. When I see that look on his face, I think to myself: "That is what the leader of the human resistance should look like." In that one scene, he's a total fucking badass. Don't worry, I like Edward Furlong too, but I'll get to him later.

After this war sequence, we get the title sequence. Complete with a fiery playground and possibly one of the greatest theme songs of all time. Dudun Dun Dudun! Dudun Dun Dudun! Aww fuck it, I'm just going to play it for you because I can't describe how fucking epic it is...

Fuckin' eh!
 
 
That theme, not to mention the rest of the soundtrack, is fucking brilliant. Every single note Brad Fiedel composes perfectly captures the essence of each frame. Hell, even the rock songs in this film are perfectly used. I can never listen to "Bad to the Bone" without thinking of that awesome pan-up shot of the Arniebot. Heck, that whole scene was an amazing character introduction. He just walks into a bar completely naked and starts fucking shit up. Then he steals a dude's clothes, boots and motorcycle just because he can. He then steals a guy's shotgun and sunglasses because he's a fucking badass.
 
The T-1000's introduction is awesome too. He just sneaks up behind a cop and takes his ass out. He then disguises himself as the cop and goes on his merry way.
 
Speaking of the T-1000, he has got be the deadliest son of a bitch that's ever been put on celluloid. A liquid metal Terminator sent back in time to kill John Connor, he is absolutely relentless in his pursuit. He can imitate any human he touches, run faster than Usain Bolt, make spikes out of his fingers, make swords out of his arms, become a floor, and catch a fucking fist with his head! The T-1000 remains one of the greatest villains in cinematic history, and is a robotic personification of death itself.
 
So how does Arnold's T-800 match up against that? Pretty well actually. Sent back in time as John Connor's protector, he proves to be a very efficient bodyguard for the future leader of the human race. Over the course of the movie, he begins to learn how to be more human. He learns some cool catchphrases, he gives high fives and thumbs up, and smiles (albeit like a dickhead). He also learns the value of human life, and how he just can't go around killing people. We as an audience begin to care for this machine greatly as his character fleshes out and he develops a father-son relationship with John. However, when the T-1000 enters the scene, the T-800 goes into primal mode and does everything he can to protect John, even if it results in his demise (or termination, haw haw haw).
 
The T-800 in this film is one of the greatest movie heroes of all time. Stopping at nothing to save the day and complete his mission. Of all the would-be fathers John Connor had in his life, this machine was the only one that measured up. It would always be there for John, and would die to protect him. He also holds his own pretty well when he throws down with the much stronger and more advanced T-1000, right up to the point where he grenade launches its ass. Although that death scene was cool, it wasn't as awesome as when he shattered the T-1000 into a million pieces... Which is the most badass moment of the whole fucking film:
 
HOLY FUCK THAT WAS AWESOOOMMMEE!!!!
 
 
Alright, enough about the robots now, how about the human characters? Well, they're fucking great too! I'm going start off with John Connor himself. At the beginning, he's a delinquent little shit head who has a juvenile record a mile high, doesn't listen to his foster parents, and steals a bunch of money from an ATM to use at an arcade! However, once he meets up with Arnie's T-800, he begins to change. In a strange way, John learns the value of humanity and respect by teaching these qualities to the Terminator. It's as if he's telling himself some of the things he's telling the Arniebot and learning from his own advice. We also see glimpses of the strong leader he's going to become, especially during the scene where they remove the T-800's CPU to reset the switch to a learning computer.
 
All in all, this character is exactly what I would imagine a young John Connor to be like. Rebellious, brash, but yet has a heart of gold and developing leadership skills. He's a tremendous character and this incarnation of him remains the most fleshed out.
 
Now I'm going to get to the star of this movie, the character that the first 2 movies have been centered around: Sarah Connor. She is without a doubt the most badass female character of all time not named Ellen Ripley. By the end of the first Terminator, we see her fully transformed into a strong and determined woman. In this film, she's suffering from PTSD and is in a mental institution after trying to blow up a computer factory. She's also the victim of mistreatment in this joint as some of the hospital attendants are having a little fun with her, not to mention the recurring nightmare about the impending apocalypse (that nightmare about the hydrogen bomb wiping everything out... Jesus! It's still uneasy to watch). Once she sees the pictures of the T-800 taken that very day, she turns herself into a weapon.
 
One of my favourite parts of the movie is when one of the attendants (who had been assaulting Sarah physically and sexually) gets his nose completely smashed off of his face when Sarah smokes him with a broken broomstick (you can even see pieces of the dude's nose flying off). She eventually meets up with the T-800 and her son, and reluctantly allows the Arniebot to lead the way even though she doesn't trust him (who could blame her? She was almost killed by one of those things). While her character is strong and independent, she's still emotionally unstable. This is made very apparent when she learns about Miles Dyson, the creator of Skynet. She eventually decides to change the future and go kill this guy, which in effect turns her into a Terminator. Thankfully, she fails that attempt. Through that failure, she learns the value of human life.
 
Sarah's character arc is complete at the end, when she shakes the Terminator's hand. She realizes at that moment that if a machine can learn the value of human life, maybe we can too. 
 
What else can I say about these characters? What other movie has one of the greatest heroes of all time, one of the greatest villains of all time, one of the most complex child characters of all time, and one of the most badass heroines of all time? I personally can't think of any other movie off the top of my head that has that. Each of these characters are iconic in their own right, and they add to T2's greatness.
 
As for the performances, I'll keep this short and sweet. Arnold nails it again as the now good guy T-800, solidifying himself as one of the greatest action stars of all time. Robert Patrick was perfectly cast as the T-1000, bringing this cold, calculating badass to life. Edward Furlong puts on one of the best child performances of all time as the young John Connor, child actors can make or break a movie, and thankfully he brought his A-game (the only time he ever did). What can I say about Linda Hamilton? She puts on one of the greatest female performances of all time, bringing the tough, determined, yet damaged Sarah to life and lifting the character to a mythological status. So yeah, for a big-budget action blockbuster, these actors didn't fuck around.
 
Now I'm going to get to the action and special effects... and... oh my god! It's fucking relentless! We have fistfights, we have gun fights, we have chases, we have explosions that would make Michael Bay die of embarrassment, WE HAVE ROBOTS WHO CATCH PUNCHES WITH THEIR FUCKING HEADS! God it's just so fucking awesome. I had already mentioned just how fucking awesome the T-1000 shattering scene was, but this is so jam packed with awesome action and effects that it was hard as hell to pick a favourite! The freeway chase scene has become legendary on it's own, as it's relentless, thrilling, and even scary to watch (especially when the T-1000 is nudging John's bike). Heck, even the other two chase scenes are awesome. The one where the T-1000 hooks up to the cop car is fucking epic... And of course, anything this epic has to have a parody:
 
Yes, I know it's Spanish, it's still awesome!
 
 
The last chase scene is cool too. My favourite part of that is when the Arniebot says "fuck it", climbs onto the truck and completely unloads an M16 into the T-1000's face. That scene is both hilarious and badass at the same time.
 
The visual effects in this movie were groundbreaking at the time and still look fantastic today. Everyone talks about the CGI that was used in this film, and while it's fucking amazing to look at, I think it's every other kind of effect that impresses me the most. We have stop motion, animatronics, miniatures, you name it. The CGI was merely just an extra tool in this melting pot of effects, and it was only really used for the T-1000 morphing between one animatronic to another. Most of the T-1000 effects were animatronic puppets, including this one:
 
Why T-800? Why u do this?
 
That's what makes these effects hold up so brilliantly: Because they were REAL! Stan Winston's team only used CGI when they really needed to. It was only a spice, it wasn't the fucking entrée! Yes, CGI has evolved and gotten a lot better these days, but some of the magic is lost when you create sterile environments from in front of a computer. That's what makes T2 stand out effects-wise, because everything you see (aside from the morphing) is real. It adds grit and a sense of realism to the whole thing.
 
As great as all the action and effects are, it would all be useless if it wasn't used to drive the story. The story is at the heart of this film and it brings all the other elements together. Two Terminators are sent back through time: One to kill John Connor, and the other to protect him. They bring John's mother along for the ride, and then through a set of circumstances, our heroes goals are to now stop Judgment Day. We watch as they go through hell to prevent the uprising and an eventual Armageddon. This films tells a cautionary tale of humanity's ever-growing dependence on technology, and this was a subtext that has only gotten more revelant to this day. It's yet another reason why T2 holds up so well.
 
The relationship between John and the Terminator develops and gets stronger as the story goes on, and as the Terminator becomes more human, we as audience grow to love him. Of course, this all leads to a climax that is every bit as amazing as the rest of the movie before it.
 
This is when I would give a spoiler warning, but it's been 24 years, watch the fucking thing.
 
We see Sarah unload round after round of shotgun blasts into the T-1000, but just as he's about to be knocked into the molten steel pit, she runs out of ammo. The T-1000 then wags his finger and starts marching towards Sarah... when BAM! The T-800 ex-machinas into the scene and blasts that liquid metal son-of-a-bitch into the pit with a grenade launcher. After the T-1000 is terminated, we think that this is all over... But it's not...
 
You see... there is one more piece of the future that needs to go in order to stop Judgment Day, and that's the T-800 himself... Oh man, I'm just going to show you that scene... Man tears, guys... Man tears!
 
What? I'm not crying! STOP LOOKING AT ME!
 
This movie an absolute masterpiece, and I really don't know any other way to describe it. It takes action, sci-fi, horror, human drama, and combines all of those elements so seamlessly. There's absolutely nothing in this film that takes a back seat. The action is awesome, the story is amazing, the characters are legendary, the acting is great, the tone is brilliant, the soundtrack is jaw-dropping... Seriously! This movie is fucking perfect!
 
If I had to pick any flaws... Well... There are none!
 
This is my favourite movie of all time, and no other movie can touch it in my opinion. I absolutely adored this film when I first saw it as a kid, and I love it even more now as an adult. It's complete cinematic perfection, and like many classic films, this movie doesn't age.
 
 
This gets 1 000 000 endoskeletons out of 100. Or, as the Terminator himself would put it, it gets one thumb up:
 
 
 
Thanks for reading this review! I'll be back with my reviews for Terminator Salvation and Terminator Genisys within the next week. Until then, troll in the comments below.
 
- Mad Mike of Metal